Even great marriages are tough at times. But if you have a husband or wife to laugh with during those bumpy patches, you’re in good hands.
Below, 17 tweets about marriage that couples will relate to.
My husband just texted me from the bathroom and asked me to bring him “A LOT more toilet paper,” so yeah, the romance ain’t dead people.
— Madame Mumsie (@MUMSIEesq) March 8, 2016
Wife: why are you breathing like that?
Ahh marriage. When you can be questioned for continuing to live.
— Jeff (@usermcuserface) November 29, 2016
My wife set a limit on how much we can spend on each other for Christmas. It’s $100 on me and $500 on her.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) November 25, 2015
When one door closes, another opens. Then another five doors plus two drawers open, and stay that way.
— My husband emptying the dishwasher
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) November 21, 2016
WIFE: you forgot to run the dishwasher again, didn’t you?
ME: [drinking milk from a flower vase] no, why?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 16, 2016
*wife wonders where I am*
*hears every musical snowman in the store start singing*
*knows where I am*
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) November 28, 2016
you are so beautiful without makeup.
-my husband, after he saw i spent $62 on an eyeshadow.
— kauaibride (@Kauaibride) November 9, 2015
Marriage is essentially peeing with the door open and asking “What do you want for dinner?”
— Mr. Hook™ (@Phook75) September 14, 2016
WIFE: Don’t waste money this month.
ME: I won’t.
WIFE: What the-
*penguins swim by in the pool*
ME: Don’t worry Karen, I stole them.
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) November 16, 2016
My husband sniffs the air. “Do I smell cinnamon apples?” he asks, hopefully.
“Oh yeah, sorry. I walked through a Kirkland’s yesterday.”
— Jenn (@heyevergreen) October 29, 2016
Wife: *laying seductively on bed in lingerie* “C’mere baby”
Me: “OMG. Get off that bedspread. The hotel doesn’t wash those”
— Zack (@Mr_Kapowski) November 30, 2016
WIFE: Why do you waste money on useless things?
ME: [scraping the S and H off the side of my new School Bus] Maybe useless to you Sharon
— penjamin. 📎 (@upsidedowntrash) November 12, 2016
I’ve never done a triathlon but I did accompany my wife to Michael’s, Hobby Lobby, & Joann’s to find the perfect autumn table setting.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 16, 2016
My husband just told me that I smell like pee.
His charm is why we got married.
— Madame Taco (@scoccaro) December 3, 2016
wife [sees me on the computer] What are you looking at?
me [taking a Buzzfeed quiz to find out what holiday candle scent I am] Porn
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) December 7, 2016
95% of marriage is spent changing the temperature of the thermostat
— 🎄Mattzilla🎅🏼 (@mattZillaaaa) November 27, 2016
Also on HuffPost
Funny Tweets About Married Life
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