You know what’s crazy? My dad got me thinking about this topic. I know, right? Every so often my father and I have a few glasses of wine and start chatting about why people are the way that they are, and what makes them tick. And considering my background, these conversations usually lead to talk of entitled and bitchy brides. And we all know that when it comes to brides, some have an affinity to the dark side, and take on multiple personalties during wedding planning, something I fondly deemed as Bridaldemia, an affliction in which a “normal”, sweet bride turns into a crazy, entitled bitch. Usually, she comes out of the haze after her wedding day, but what happens when a bride doesn’t come back from bridal entitlement? What happens if she can’t shake that alternate personality after she says “I do”? By our third glass of Cabernet, my dad told a story about a women he worked with many years ago who never “recovered” from of her entitled, bridal ways.
What’s interesting to me is that this lovely woman, turned into a nasty bitch bride before it was considered “acceptable” behavior, like it is now. Seriously, bridey, you’ve heard me whine a gazillion times about how I feel like our society applauds and encourages, and even celebrates bad bridal, ‘zilla behavior, and how it makes me want to pull my hair out. But, thirty-five years ago? Not so much. More often than not, a bride’s mother would plan her wedding with little buy in from the bride. So, hearing that this sort of behavior started decades ago, was definitely shocking to me! But, what’s even more worrisome is that this chick never went back to who she was before she got the rock. Then it hit me! I 100% know her type. I have worked with at least a dozen women over the years who were completely different people when they walked down the aisle as opposed to when they hired me, and never quite shook the entitlement after their nuptials.
The problem? These brides got used to the entitlement and they liked it. They liked it so much that they decided not to go back to the people they were before. And, when you think about it, why the fuck would they? We all fight for position, and when you’re a bride, your position immediately moves up. As a bride, you’re treated with kid gloves, and for the most part, you get whatever you want because you use your new position and demand it. And, what’s worse?People give it to you. So, why would a bride want to go back to her previous position as a plain, average woman when she gets so much more by being entitled? Right? In a fucked up way, who could blame her?
But, here’s the thing. If the wedding/hospitality industry stopped bending over for these demanding bitchy brides who are simply using their new position to be miserable and make everybody else miserable, then the problem or the entitlement would go away; the problem would cease to exist. But, until we as a whole (industry) stop being so fucking afraid to say “no” and accept entitled piss-poor behavior, then we will stay broken, and brides will continue to stay entitled. And, some won’t come back from it because they were taught that the more noise you make, and the more misbehaved your are, the more you get.
It’s painfully clear that things have to change for us to get our brides back from bridal entitlement. As an industry, we have to stop enabling and celebrating bad behavior. We have to take care our brides without letting them trample and take advantage of our good intentions. In a sense, we have to “raise” them to be good brides so that they don’t become entitled, and then we won’t have to worry about getting them back after the wedding. Essentially, we have to eliminate the problem before it starts. But, I can’t do it alone. Brides and vendors alike have to make a conscious effort to stop the bridal entitlement before it starts! Who’s with me?! Good! Stay Bitchless!